On being an ally, our favourite books on your journey.
Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor
Layla Saad teaches readers how to dismantle the privilege within themselves so that they can stop inflicting damage (often unconsciously) on people of colour, and in turn, help other white people do better.
Knowledge is power!
Ijeoma Oluo, So You Want to Talk About Race
Ijeoma Oluo offers a contemporary take on the racial landscape in America, by addressing privilege, police brutality, intersectionality, micro-aggressions, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the “N” word. Answers the questions that readers do not dare to ask in an attempt to bridge the gap between people of colour and white Americans struggling with race complexities. A book for people who are starting to have these difficult conversations with family and friends.
Being raised by Immigrant, Black West Indian parents set the foundation for my love of reading. I was nurtured to believe that by getting a good education, I would have the power to address all barriers that are systemically in place for Black people. And when I was in University.... I discovered the movement. It was the freedom I needed from mental slavery.
Nicole Perryman
Michelle Alexander- The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness
Michelle Alexander discusses the impact of the criminal justice system on the Black community. An in-depth explanation into how government policies led to the high rate of involvement of Black people in the criminal justice system. Providing an understanding of disparities at every segment of the justice system, designed to target Black communities.
If you do not see colour, you don't see me (unknown). I look forward to the day where our young people lived in a system where 'school led to success & not prison".
Nicole Perryman
Robin DiAngelo, White Fragility
Illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility and addresses the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially. It evokes emotions such as anger, fear and guilt and addresses both argumentations and silence. DiAngelo examines how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.
On this day, November 7, 2020 the first Black-South Asian Vice President was elected: Kamala Harris.
Tiffany Jewell- This Book Is Anti-Racist
Written for the young person who does not know how to speak up to the racist adults in their life, who sees injustice at school, and for the child who tries to fit into the dominant culture. It is for the Black and Brown children who have been harmed (physically and emotionally) because of no one stood up for them; because of the colour of their skin. Learn about identities, history, and anti-racism work.
Tell us about your experiences as a Black parent in Durham Region or the Greater Toronto Region. Consider publishing on our site your story! And we will give you a gift certificate or send you a copy of one of the books listed above.
On October 14, 2020, we hosted our Let's Talk Cafe: Kinship Care and Fostering. As we know, as Black community creates family as village. Having friends, relatives, and children living in our home is common, especially in our home countries in the West Indies and abroad. In Canada, our communities are often scattered throughout the country, which often leads many families who struggle with limited support to lean on child welfare services.
What are the experiences of Black families in Child Welfare?
In 2016, the Ontario Association for Children's Aid Societies did a study that examined the experiences of Black families in child welfare. The study examined how Black families came into the attention to the children's aid society. Most of the time, teachers and police officers make referrals to child welfare agencies. They found that Black children often remain in child welfare care longer than children from other communities, and these children remained in limbo without a permanent home or plan.
To learn more about the document, see: ONE VISION ONE VOICE PRACTICE FRAMEWORK I.
What we heard from our community, Let's Talk Cafe
The government doesn't provide aid unless the children are removed from the care of the parents, and this support is time limited. | |||
The resources provided to parents by child welfare is not, culturally safe supports | |||
Anti-Black and anti-Indigenous racism is prevalent in the child welfare system, which then leads to worse outcomes for our youth and families. | |||
Child welfare need to utilize psychologists and professionals, for assessing children and their families. These professionals need to understand the intersecting identities, the impact of intergenerational trauma, and the experience of race trauma upon the lives of Black families. | |||
The child welfare assessments for families and parents should be culturally competent. | |||
The child welfare agencies do not access to culturally appropriate supports or advocacy for Black families involved in the system. | |||
Child welfare agencies may consider family as, "blood related" but Black families definition and understanding of family is expendable and includes relatives, kin, community and village members, close friends, and other persons close to them. Sometimes, they are closer to their "aunties and uncles" than they may be to their parents. | |||
Instead of supporting families to stay together or address poverty within Black communities and household, the government would rather spend money in foster homes or residential treatment homes to care for Black children who could have remained home. | |||
Black Parents are assessed based on Eurocentric standards of parenting, raising children, discipline, caregiving, and more. These standards can then lead to "assumptions" about caregiving and Black caregiving. In the 70s and 80s, many white children had Black nannies who raised them. Now, Black parents are being criticized for their parenting. | |||
What are our rights as parents in the child welfare system? How do we protect ourselves from involvement with the child welfare system?
Five years after the Practice Framework was written, many of our Black parents, caregivers and guardians continued to have similar experiences with the child welfare agencies. They often felt afraid and worried that if they asked for help, or if the child welfare worker came to their home they would lose their child. This leads to an unfair power imbalance between the worker and the family. Especially, when the worker is mandated to support the family and the child, and reduce the risk for involvement in child welfare. Many times, workers misunderstand, misinterpret, and make assumptions about Black parenting, the parents relationship with their children, and the parents relationship with the Society. Many parents are struggling with anti-Black racism within the school system, in employment, in their communities, with the police, in health systems, and with child welfare. Many times our fears, horror, shame and grief can lead us to go to extreme measures to care for our children, to protect them from harm, and to ensure they avoid these systems altogether.
Knowing people who have had a negative experience with the system makes them distrusting, so they are hesitant to talk to a worker
One participant shared
Our participants also identified that empowering children through the child welfare system creates an unfair experience for parents who feel undermined by their child and the system. When children return home after being in care, and when children are supervised by the child welfare agency in their home, the parent is hyper concerned about will I lose my right to care for my child, will I be able to discipline and raise my child with my values and principles, or when my child is upset with me, would they create a story so they can go into foster care. It leads us to the question, does child welfare really help our children and families?
Child welfare workers can, take the power and voice of the parent, kin parent, or adoptive parent away and giving them to the child; not allowing the parent to parent the child. If he is the "driver of his own bus" why am I here?
The One Vision One Voice project with the Ontario Association for Children's Aid Societies continue to develop Practice Framework and Models to enhance service delivery of child welfare for Black families throughout our province. With the Black Youth Action Plan from the Ontario Government and resources from the Ontario Trillium Foundation, we are creating opportunities for Black families to receive the services and advocacy they need. Thus our members felt that: there needs to be an allocation of the funding to Black and Indigenous communities to support and provide services to their families. For us. By us.
A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction... It is not easy becoming successful.
Steve Harvey
Our inaugural Let's Talk Cafe Live on August 30, 2020 and Listening Circle on September 2, 2020 created a platform to discuss the barriers men experience in their lives, and a need for pathways to guide their journey along the way.
Men continue to experience stigma associated with mental health, which can lead to men not wanting to deal with their mental health, and not discussing treatment. Many times, men experience shame with their mental health and they feel they can't talk about their experiences. Men also shared that when they are ready to seek services, they are unsure of where to go to for support.
In Black communities, faith and religion is a strong component of their belief systems. In church, they teach young men that God is your Father. However, within the institution, many Black men experience trauma in the church. The church can also oppress people and suppress their abilities to seek support. The church can also view mental health challenges as "demonic", which diverts from Black men from seeking help, but creates an experience where they feel that something is wrong with me.
For Black men... [it is] rooted in how you were brought up, fear of organized structured, being promiscuous, gambling, substance use-- how would acknowledge that you have a problem? ....Men don't always like to be told what to do, and don't want others to put it up, need to change those organized structure.
Let's Talk participants shared
Introducing....Men's Talk an open-support group for fathers and father figures focusing on healthy relationships, sex, identity, mental health, fatherhood and parenting, love and affection, intergenerational trauma, abuse and healing. Interested in learning more and joining us? Contact us
We are used to seeing the statistics on Black men. We are familiar with the headlines. But how do these experiences impact Black men? How does anti-Black racism in the forms of systemic barriers, zero tolerance programs, surveillance, gaslighting, criticism, negative comments and experiences, unfair suspensions, and more influence and affect our men.
"It is normal for men to not deal with it, the world tells them that they are supposed to be tough, Black men ... stereotypes [them] as dangerous and violent, and [further alienates them from] ... seeking out help or adjusting [their behaviour]
A participant
Our participants shared their knowledge and experiences on what helped them manage their experiences and build greater balance in their lives. Some strategies they shared was connecting with other men and developing healthy bonds and relationships. Cultivating safe relationships. Engaging in self-discovery and exploration. Becoming aware of self, and how your experiences have shaped you both for hardening and softening. Being patient with yourself and with others. Learning to address feeling judged, and turning judgement into learning opportunities to grow.
Join our Co-Parenting Support Program designed to teach, guide and mentor parents, caregivers and guardians to navigate separation, kin, and foster families. We inspire and empower you to build a strong community village for your child(ren), and youth in your life. Learn more Contact Us!
Self-help-- comes from yourself-- we all know our worth, and what we want for ourselves- I grew up in a Caribeean household that was liberal, my evolution came when I decided to do what is work for myself, and myself as a being-- Black men need to decide what society and media tells us to be and figure out what we need to be for [ourselves]-- need to ghost myself to do my own self discovery then that is what it will take
Let's Talk Participant
Interested in more? Kujenga Wellness Project works in collaboration with organizations, Black-led businesses, and Black therapists to provide grounded, culturally-informed approaches to well-being, healing and growth. Contact Us Today.
We are proud to offer a collection of support groups designed to provide a safe place for women, men, parents, caregivers, and guardians to grow, learn and connect. Our groups are facilitated by a Psychotherapist/ Social Worker or Child in Youth Care Worker who specializes in using an anti-oppressive and holistic framework to healing. To Learn more, or Register contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
Kujenga (to build) Restoration: Co-parenting support group. This group is helpful for separated or divorced parents, sole parents, guardians, kin parents, foster and adoptive parents.
Need just a quick refresher? Join us for workshops on multiple topics that may provide you information and resources to better support you and your family. Register for these workshops on Eventbrite or check our calendar for Upcoming Events.
Men's Talk is a support group for men, fathers, and father-figures to talk, share, and explore issues that influence men the most.
We may enter our lives alone, but we are in this together. It takes a village to raise a child, and a village to support us raising the child.
Nicole Perryman
Queen's Unite- a women's support group to build in healthy relationships, sense of self and identity, and more.
Consult with our Family Outreach Team for individual support and guidance in your family and within your life.
Learn about community resources that may be helpful for you.
Review our Blog for information and articles that we are constantly building to improve your understanding and awareness of key issues.
Looking to learn strategies for wellness. Feeling the weight of worry, anxiety, sadness, pressure and stress? Try one of our strategies.
Sometimes, you may not have the language to communicate how you are feeling, what you are thinking, and how you are reacting. Movement helps you to express these inner thoughts and feelings, when words just can not.
"Our deepest fear is that...you are powerful beyond measure. Wellness begins when you start putting yourself in a good space and in a practice that keeps you steady throughout life's challenges.
Steps to change is closer than you think:
Day 1: Create 3 types of goals for your wellness: IMMEDIATE, SHORT TERM, and FUTURE. Write a list of the strategies you hope to try. Schedule time in your calendar for enacting your goals.
Day 2: Write down all your worries, anxieties and fears about yourself, your future and your wellness. Place the worries in a box. Seal the box. Add new worries when they come. Ask God, the Universe, or whomever you choose to believe to help you contain your worries.
Day 3: Look at the calendar. Find YES days. Days that you say yes to whatever opportunities may come your way. Choose NO days. Days that you will spend placing healthy boundaries on your self-care, your mental health, and your wellness.
Day 4: Try a strategy from your self care goal list. Video-blog how you felt in the activity. Share the strategy with a close friend or family member.
Day 5: Practice imperfection. Notice when you are less than your ideal self. Be compassionate and kind to yourself. Treat your self with something on your self care goal list.
Day 6: Practice gratitude. As you move throughout the day, see how many things, experiences, people, and more that you are thankful for. Mediate, pray and practice mindfulness to bring your attention and focus on all that builds your soul and your wellness.
Day 7: Give back! What a week you have had! Great work for the effort. Beautiful try for the difficult days. Share your joy, your passion, what you learned, and how you grew with someone else. Give Back. Give of yourself to another. Show love in the best way you know how.
Want to learn more? Need consultation?
Contact: The Kujenga Wellness Team
In 2020, the "new" normal consisted of online school, Google classroom, face masks, physical distancing, COVID-19 screening questions, and cancelled gatherings. However, our team: Melissa Perryman, OCT and Lisa McGregor, OCT presented to parents, caregivers and guardians (even our grandparents) navigate these experiences and enhance their family's wellness.
As parents, it is easy to forget the importance of caring for yourself and remaining healthy. Check in with your emotions. As a family, be creative. Make space to create with your family, whether it's a family art drawing to "hanging" out in Avatar world. Practice mindfulness to help refresh, rejuvenate and relax. Check in & Assess your wellness.
A stress burnout scale helps you to identify the sources of your stress and the levels of your stress. Higher scores can indicate that it is time to slow down. Average and lower scores indicate that you need more balance in your life, and burnout will come soon. Take a minute to rate yourself.
Twenty percent of Black Americans are more likely to experience serious mental health problems than the general population.
ADAA
Regardless of the your outcome with the Stress Burnout Indicators, it is important to engage in healthy strategies for wellness. This can support your family and yourself live quality life experiences, and navigating challenges which may occur in your lives.
Strategies for wellness
Black students do experience anti-Black racism in Ontario schools. This is demonstrated in the curriculum which fails to include Black experiences and contributions past, present and future. In the lack of teachers that represent the Black community, and teachers who have grounded training in equity, implicit bias, systemic racism, and oppression. As parents, it is important you remain active and involved in your child's education experience. Recognizing and identifying when your child is being treated unfairly, and creating space for your child to discuss and express their experiences will help empower them to successful combat racism. Promoting your child's resiliency in the classroom will help to create a safe learning environment that will keep your child engaged.
For black children and adolescents to develop into individuals actively engaged in optimal personal development, they must be placed “at promise” as opposed to “at risk”….in order to become contributing members of their families, schools, communities and the broader society.
APA
Grandparents! It always takes a village. See our tips for supporting your grandchildren and your village to become successful. Be mindful that your words are power. You are in an unique piece in the village, and can create change through unconditional love, admiration, and adoration to your children.
Nurturing your Village Tips and Strategies:
Listen in on our inaugural Kujenga Wellness Project workshop designed to support parents, caregivers and guardians support their child and youth in school.
In November 2020, the Ontario Trillium Foundation provided immediate support to parents, guardians and caregivers residing in Durham Region. The project provides gift cards for nearby grocery stores and food baskets from local community organization.
To learn more about the outcomes for this project, visit us in December 2020 for our collective summary.
Courtyard Farmer's Market
In December 2020, Courtyard Farmer's Market provided fresh vegetables, fruits, and protein to 10 families on a bi-weekly basis. We are so appreciative of their support and partnerships.
Kujenga Wellness Project is funded by the Ontario Trillium Foundation through the Family Innovations Grant. We are a grassroots organization aimed at developing a comprehensive system of support for Black families.
Have you attended one of our workshops or events? Share your experiences and provide us feedback.
The black lives matter movement although founded in 2013, the uprising of community support became the forefront of everything on social media and mainstream media in the beginning months of the pandemic.
Maggie Asselstine
During the pandemic it came to light the inequities of the black community. While sitting in our homes we were witness to the murder of George Floyd, Breona Taylor and Regis Korchinski-Paqutte to name a few all at the hands of the police. Some of us sat as a community and started to truly acknowledge the systemic racism and barriers that affect the BIPOC community. Some of us stood up as allies for those affected by racial trauma and systemic racism.
The black lives matter movement although founded in 2013, the uprising of community support became the forefront of everything on social media and mainstream media in the beginning months of the pandemic. Black people have always had increased risk of violence or death by police and experienced inequities with employment, education, housing and access to services that provide culturally aware and trauma informed support.
The Kujenga Wellness Project, is a Black-led grassroots organization. In October 2020, the organization managers applied for emergency relief funding through the Ontario Trillium Foundation. The emergency funds supported over 60 families in Durham Region with gift cards and food.
Racial trauma is rampant and bearing witness to violent acts against members of society that look like you can cause racial trauma which in turn can look a lot like post traumatic stress disorder. Oftentimes people who experience racism are invalidated or told that they need to “get over it” or “stop being so sensitive.” Sometimes feeling invalidated means people stop talking about their pain and just live with it. Therefore
continuing the racial inequities in society today.
Kujenga Wellness Project, a Black-led grassroots organization, was able to access funding through the Ontario Trillium Foundation- Covid-19 Emergency Relief fund to address some of the inequities within the black community. One of the programs developed to address food insecurities and was called “The Gift Project”. The program was developed by the Program Managers, staff, students and volunteers.
To qualify for this program participants were required to identify as one of
the equity seeking groups the agency supports.
During the process of working with the community to assess their needs for food sovereignty it was noted there is a large community of newcomers specifically from Africa and largely living in low income housing and low income neighborhoods specifically a large number in south Oshawa. A significant amount of participants were single parents with two or more children and families that were larger than their western counterparts of four or more children. A lot of the participants talked about their lack of access to services to support them with employment, counselling and food. When speaking with families there was a sense that they felt so grateful of the support and felt, and almost relieved to be working with an agency that understands their unique needs as a black family in the region of Durham.
A number of participants were either unemployed or underemployed and lacked access to technology to support either their own academic endeavours or their children’s. The paradigm of the black community and the urban indigenous community is unwavering. The systemic racism and continued
inequities from these two equity seeking groups is vast.
How does one do good work with the Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour community?
Truly, if you do not work from the framework of acknowledging your own privilege as a person not from the equity seeking group you are working with you are doing yourself and the person you work
with a disservice and perpetuating systemic racism. The community needs allies and appreciates allyship but not when it’s cultural appropriation or someone being “white saviour”. Black people need to know there are safe places to access services that address systemic racism. But if you do not understand
the historical context of the BIPOC community and their lack of equal access to
everything without being exposed to racial trauma then you are not doing good work.
The systemic racism and continued inequities from these two equity-seeking groups, Black and Indigenous people is vast.
Maggie Asselstine
History is everything and without it you know nothing. Sometimes we have this view that
every single person who identifies as BIPOC has the same story but gaining this
knowledge from the person you are working with in developing a true relationship
means everything. There is a term pan Indigenous and this means that often people will
think that Indigenous people come from the same cultural backgrounds and group these
people together which couldn’t be further from the truth. Every indigenous community
has their own ceremonies, their own medicines, their own beliefs and their own
traditions just like every single person who identifies as black or a person of colour.
Maggie Asselstine
BSW student, Ryerson University.
We are in the business of building community.
“The Kujenga Wellness Team would like to thank our amazing volunteers, students and interns, the Family Outreach worker, and our donors for the outpouring of love and support for our Black community members. A special thanks to the Ontario Trillium Foundation for making this grant possible in December 2020"
What is a place to call home? For some people, it has been our spaces in 2020 as we hid from the coronavirus. Or our workplaces where we held Teams meetings and attended webinars. It may have been our place we cared for our families and our children. Or the space we shared with our roommates. Our "home" place may have been small or too large, filled with amenities or just the basics, too warm or too cold, too loud or so quiet we can hear a pin drop. Regardless, of where we lay our head tonight, we are blessed. Because we do.
In Canada,
235, 000 experience homelessness
28 % of people who experience homelessness are racialized, compared to 19% of Canadians
The Gift Project was a time limited program sponsored by the Ontario Trillium Foundation to provide emergency aid to parents, caregivers, and guardians during the pandemic. Through the project, parents shared their stories and experiences with our volunteers and identified significant concerns. The challenges the community experienced was vast. From dealing with the impact of the COVID-19 diagnosis, to losing sustainable employment due to the pandemic. There were parents living with life threatening diseases to families who lost a parent in the home. Many people identified housing insecurities, and worries that they just did not have enough funds to pay their bills.
Prior to the pandemic, Black people struggled with the housing market in multiple ways. Landlords refused to rent to Black tenants or gave them a hard time with rental applications. They often were refused tenancy on the basis of being Black. When selling their home, Black people would experience a more difficult time with a sale, in comparison with non-Black persons. And, when purchasing a home, Black people were often never considered first in a housing bid. Due to this, many Black people lived in unsafe homes and communities.
Living in poverty can be cyclical for Black people, not because of their lack of trying but the systemic barriers that exist due to anti-Black racism. As a single parent raising my daughter, I knew I was always one pay cheque away from losing everything. And that loss, meant that finding employment and housing was difficult. I also learned that I had to accept my experiences of anti-Black racism and unfair treatment by my employer because my living was always precarious. The pandemic only heightened these concerns for Black people.
Homelessness... living in their vehicles, couch surfing from home to home. During the pandemic, we learned that people lost their homes if tested positive for COVID-19, if renting with roommates. Students lost a place to stay when dorms and residences closed temporarily
Not everyone qualified for CERB or government assistance payments, once they lost their employment or could not maintain work as their children were home.
Another pattern we observed was many people lived in unsafe family homes marked by conflictual relationships, intimate partner violence, and unsafe homes for children. Since supporting our community, our volunteers provided referrals to women's shelters and legal support services.
Just because we may not see poverty, homelessness, and racism, does not mean that it does not exist. Our privilege is knowing that we have where others do not, and may not ever achieve the ability to have.
I once read that we could eliminate poverty by dispersing the world's wealth. In one picture, we see "Instagram" worthy photos of wealthy people enjoying a beautiful island or lavishing in the newest clothing or jewelry. On the other hand, we can become inundated with photos of starving children living on the street in Malaysia or Uganda. If you are blessed to travel down the streets of Toronto, you may see some "faces" of people who appear homeless. But do we see or pay attention to the uncommon faces. The cashiers at the grocery stores we visit. The family we pass in the Mall. The car we see parked up on a busy street. The children playing in the park. I definitely learned that there is so much I did not see. I am blessed to have a place to call home, because I know too many do not.
Is Canada's first Housing Strategy. In 10 years, the "National Housing Strategy will remove 530,000 families from housing need, cut chronic homelessness by 50% and change the face of housing in Canada forever" Learn more and apply at:
Is a 3-year project sponsored by the Ontario Trillium Foundation which provides Navigation Services, Workshops, Outreach and Support Groups for parents, caregivers and guardians. To Learn more about our initiatives, visit:
In March 2020, a global pandemic reached Canada, leading to massive closures across the country. It was anticipated that the closures will encourage people to stay home where they will be safe. However, for many people, home was not a safe place. Since the pandemic, the rates of intimate partner violence has increased. Another statistics found that the crisis helplines have increased 30 %. Violence against women and girls is considered the, "shadow pandemic" by the United Nations. Another staggering statistics, the Toronto Crisis Line reported they had received 55,000 crisis calls from March 2020 to September 2020, an increase from 4000 in 2019.
Lisa Ogbole, founder and operator of Imani's Place, a safe haven for women survivors of domestic abuse and trafficking, shared the startling experiences of many women within Canada and across the world. Girls as young as twelve years old are recruited into trafficking throughout the world. Their involvement in the "trade" is supported by drugs, secrecy, and coercion. In intimate partner violence, women often feel trapped in relationships where they can't seem to escape. Many women hold onto their love for their partner, and make excuses for their abusive behaviour.
As a psychotherapist, the stories of the courageous women who survived human trafficking, the sex trade, and intimate partner violence, speaks to intolerable situations. It is a difficult journey. But help is available. Help is always available. To watch Ms. Ogbole's workshop, follow our You Tube Page.
Shelters
in Durham Region
If your home is not safe or you are not in a safe place, seek help. Contact 911. Ask to speak to a domestic violence officer or a human trafficking specialist officer skilled in assessing abuse and guiding you to safety.
Herizon House -Ajax
Durham Youth Services - Ajax
Denise House - Oshawa
YWCA Durham - Oshawa
Bethesda House
Cornerstone Community Association -Oshawa
Muslim Welfare Home- Whitby
Kujenga Wellness Project is a community organization that supports Black community members, families, parents, and youth.